Doubts
by CoeurDePluie
Summary: [High School AU] Juvia is in love with Gray but one day, she's ambushed by some girls who say things and cast doubts in Juvia's mind.


**AN : I don't own Fairy Tail.**

It's been a long time since I posted a story. I hope you'll like this one. I explain why I wrote this at the end.

Enjoy!

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**Doubts**

The bell ringed and the teacher dismissed the class.

In a slow pace, Juvia followed her classmates outside. She was bearing a dreamy expression, with a soft smile on her lips. It was almost spring break and her group of friends had planned to go watch a film in the cinema after school and if she was lucky, she could sit beside Gray or share his popcorn.

She raised her head and looked at the sun behind the windows. She couldn't believe that just a year ago, she was a freak and gloomy girl.

She was previously studying at Phantom High School but after some things have happened, the director Jose Porla was arrested and the students were transferred to others schools. Juvia chose Fairy Tail High School and convinced Gajeel to follow her. It was the first time Luck smiled at her. FT High School was nothing like Phantom. Starting with the director, Makarov Dreyar, who was a very attentive man and considered all his students as his children. Most of them called him "Gramps" in an affective way.

And Juvia had changed. She had so many friends now, she felt welcomed even with all her craziness and weird habits, she was more confident and laughed and talked openly. But the big change was in her heart. For the first time, she was in love. Deeply in love.

Before, she hadn't known that a so powerful feeling could exist in someone. But there she was. Juvia Lockser was in love with Gray Fullbuster.

It was no secret. She had claimed her love since the first day. To Gray's greatest embarrassment.

He wasn't feeling the same as her, so Juvia tried all sort of things to make him love her. She was very shy at first so she put homemade bento on his desk and hid somewhere to watch him eating it. Halas, much of them finished into Natsu's stomach.

Then, she made up her mind and decided to talk to him. She followed him to determine the good opportunity to do so. But her nervous and clumsy self were not helping and she ruined many chances by making a fool of herself. Luckily, she managed a small talk and met his friends along the way and soon she was adopted by the all group. Since then, she had learned things about Gray and she decided to be patient and appreciated every little moment she could spend with him. They were getting closer to each other, she was sure of it.

Humming a happy song, Juvia went to the restroom. She still had some minutes before the next class which she shared with Levy, Lucy, Cana and Loke.

But when she was washing her hands, the door opened and revealed a bunch of girls with hostile looks. Juvia recognized two of them as cheerleaders who were at each matches of Gray and Natsu team. But she had never interacted with these girls.

"Hum… Hi. Can Juvia help you?" she asked politely but noticed that three of the girls circled her on her sides.

"We just want to talk." said a black haired girl but Juvia could tell by her posture that the talk wouldn't be as innocent as she said. Juvia knew she was right when a girl with short blonde hair slammed her hand against the wall.

"We want you to stop following Gray like a lost puppy. It's disgusting."

Juvia frowned.

"It's not your place to tell Juvia what she can do and what she can't."

"We have the right to stop a stalker like you when you're harassing Gray."

"Juvia isn't harassing Gray-sama!"

"You're idiot and just blind?" asked another girl. "Can you not understand that you're making him uncomfortable?"

"You're drowning him with your obsession" added the first girl.

"It's not obsession. Juvia loves Gray-sama."

"Oh please!" The blonde girl rolled her eyes. "Your locker is full of pictures of him like a shrine and I saw you pick his shirts and put them in your bag."

"She probably also kept his dirty underwear and sniffed them." A brunette snickered.

"Juvia doesn't do that!" Juvia replied with indignation. These girls were picturing her like a pervert and inconsiderate person.

"You can't deny what you are always around him, throwing yourself on him even when you can tell he's embarrassed. You don't respect his private space or his feelings at all."

"Juvia…" she tried.

"You're unwanted."

"He won't love you. No one can love their stalker."

"Would you like if someone was constantly following you? Invading your personal space? Throwing their unrequited love to your face? If they don't take no for an answer?"

"What you call love isn't sane. It's obsession."

"You're hopeless."

"It would be better if you back off and let him live his life in peace."

Juvia stepped back and her back collided with the tiled wall. The accusations were overwhelming her and she couldn't think or say something to defend herself. She had a lump in her throat. Tears were threatening to roll out of her eyes.

"Seem like you realize how creepy and weird you are." The blonde said with a victorious grin. "You'll let Gray alone now, right?"

Juvia bit her lower lip. No. That wasn't true. She wasn't that bad. She wasn't hopeless. They can't ask that.

"Tchh." The brunette looked at her with disdain. "She's completely stupid."

"Yeah." The first girl approved. "Let's leave. The class is going to start again."

Juvia didn't move even after they left the room. Their comments were echoing in her mind, she still had difficulties to think and didn't know what to do.

She finally moved away of the wall. She needed to clear her mind. And there was only one way.

She exited the restroom but she didn't go to her class. She went outside and handed toward the gymnasium. She walked mechanically, looking into nothing, as if she was out of place.

She unlocked the pool gate and took refuge inside the quiet and cool place. Juvia was one of the best swimmers of the school club and she had her own key in case she wanted to train outside usual hours.

No one was inside the pool. She changed into the swimsuit she always had in her bag and was fast to dive into the basin. The cold water eased her a bit. She took a deep breath and dove again, immersing herself in the water where the sounds from outside are faint.

She swam with all she had, fast and hard, slapping the surface, getting rid of her frustration. Each time she pushed herself on the wall with her feet, she asked herself.

Were they right?

Did she disgust Gray?

She just wanted to be near him as much as she could. What was wrong?

Was she so selfish? Inconsiderate?

Should she let go?

Did he hate her?

She swam for a long time. When her lungs burned and her arms and legs ached, she whirled on her back and let herself float.

She looked at the ceiling.

Was she really in love?

_What you call love isn't sane. It's obsession._

She hadn't been in love before so maybe she had confounded obsession with love?

But she had felt the butterflies in her stomach. And her heart squeezed each time she saw Gray's smile. They were signs right? She loved him. She wanted him happy. She wanted to make him happy.

_You're making him uncomfortable_.

If Juvia was honest, there were times when Gray seemed deeply embarrassed. She had put it on his uneasiness with public show and feelings. But maybe she was the problem?

But he didn't say anything about it!

Or maybe he did and she didn't pay attention or didn't want to see it.

The more she thought, the more she felt lost and hurt.

If it was true and she did bother him, there was no chance he would ever love her. She hoped he saw her as a friend at least. But maybe he disliked her and didn't want to see her at all? What can she do?

_It would be better if you back off and let him live his life in peace._

She didn't want to. But she didn't want to lose him ever. The simple thought of never seeing him or never hearing his voice again was crushing her heart. But Gray hating her? It was unbearable. At the idea, she choked on her breath.

She had to stop her adoration before it was too late. This way maybe she could stay friend with him and the others?

She closed her eyes.

It was over.

For a short period of time, the sun had shined. She had had friends and felt happy. But the rain had returned now. She was alone again.

She didn't hear footsteps approaching.

"I knew you would be here."

Juvia could tell who the voice belonged to. Slowly she turned her head toward her friend.

A half empty bottle in hand, Cana sat on the edge of the pool.

"You're like me. You drown your sorrow with liquid. Not the same as me though." She winked as she lifted the bottle in the air.

Juvia swam to her and propped herself next to Cana, careful not to wet her friend.

"Why is Cana-san here?" Juvia asked with a faint voice.

"You ditched the last class and since it's unusual from you, we were all worried."

Was it true? Were they really worried about her? That meant they were still her friends, right?

As Juvia didn't respond immediately, Cana elbowed her gently.

"So what's up in your mind?"

Juvia circled her arms around her legs. Could she tell her?

"Juvia was just realizing something about her."

"And? What is it?"

"Juvia is a stalker and she isn't in love with Gray-sama."

Cana blinked and then burst out laughing.

"Oh my! Juvia! You're kidding right? Are you trying to kill me?"

"It's true!" shouted Juvia.

Cana calmed down and she looked seriously at Juvia.

"What happened? You're not thinking that out of nowhere."

Juvia pursed her lips but finally told her friend about her confrontation with the girls.

"Bitches." Cana cursed. "If they were right before me, I would tell them a bit of my mind."

Juvia shook her head.

"They were right. They opened Juvia's eyes. She should end her obsession and stop stalking Gray-sama."

"But you're not stalking Gray! Not anymore at least!"

"Juvia is a stalker. Everyone say that. Including you and the others."

Cana opened her mouth but no word came out. She thought for a moment.

"Yeah. I'm sorry for that. We didn't mean it. It's just a joke to annoy Gray a bit. As teasing. But I can assure you, you're not a stalker anymore."

"Juvia is." Juvia said with stubbornness.

"Okay. When was the last time you stalk him? And by stalking, I mean watching him from afar or without announcing your presence."

Juvia searched in her memory.

"Juvia doesn't remember. But that mean nothing! Juvia is so used to be a stalker she doesn't notice when she is stalking! Juvia is a stalker and she is embarrassing Gray-sama!"

"Yeah because it's a common fact to share lunch with your stalker and teach them how to eat a Camarade's Frank."

Juvia was silent for an instant, hope rising in her chest but she washed it away.

"Gray-sama did this only out of kindness."

"Yeah, it's so like him." Cana commented ironic. "Ok, let's assume that you're embarrassing him and he wants you to stop. Did he say loud and clear that you were bothering him?"

Juvia clutched her knees.

"Yeah. During New Year party. When Juvia announced that she was Juvia 2.0 and said she loved him, he said he didn't and that he was also entering a new era and was going to say no when he didn't like something."

"He really said that?" Cana asked surprised and Juvia nodded. "He was looking at you?"

Juvia frowned, remembering the scene.

"No…" She answered hesitantly. "He turned his back."

Cana snorted.

"And since then? Did he tell you that you were bothering him?"

Juvia nodded again.

"Juvia wanted to give him a gift, a scarf she had made. But Gray-sama was sad that day and Juvia insisted even if she had noticed his sorrow. He seemed… very upset then."

"I'm pretty sure it didn't count if he was in a bad mood. We all say things we don't mean when we are sad or angry."

Juvia sighed.

"Cana-san is very kind to try to cheer Juvia up. But she knows the truth now. Juvia's relationship with Gray-sama is unhealthy. It's adoration, not love. Juvia is invading Gray-sama private space and she collected Gray-sama shirt and she has a lot of Gray-sama plushies in her room. She sleeps with one each night. It's weird and it's not right."

"And you're doing ecchi things to that plushy?" Cana asked with a sly smile.

Juvia blushed brightly.

"Of course not!"

"Well, I don't see what's wrong then. If I told what the others girl do in their bed, you would turn as red as a tomato for a long time."

Juvia looked at the still water of the pool. She had some ideas about what the others did in their rooms, she wasn't that innocent, but she didn't mind. She had wet dreams too. But she couldn't tell Cana about it. She chose to return to the first topic.

"But Juvia is always around Gray-sama. She doesn't respect his privacy and she annoys him. It's stalking."

Cana pinched the bridge of her nose before continuing. "I admit that you stalked him at first, but it was just during a short time and yeah, maybe you still do it sometimes but I'm sure Gray doesn't mind it… Most of the times."

"Still. It's wrong." Juvia stated inflexible.

Cana sighed and took a large gulp of her bottle.

"If you really think what you do it's wrong, I won't try to stop you. But don't give up. Gray appreciates you, have no doubt." She put a hand on Juvia's shoulder. "You made few errors. But now that you're aware, you can avoid them. Don't let these bitches interfering between you two. Go get your man."

"It's too late. Gray-sama can't love Juvia after she stalked him. As the girls said, it's not sane."

"He'll forgive you if he has not yet. We all made mistakes Juvia. Gajeel for example. I'm sure you remember what he done to Levy last year? And now they're flirting and all."

"It wasn't all Gajeel-kun's fault! We were following Jose's orders!"

"Okay then. Natsu and Lucy. He keeps barging into her room and steals her underwear even if she had asked him to stop."

"It's different. They're a team and Natsu-san doesn't do this in a mean way."

"Still. Lucy is uncomfortable and he didn't listen. But okay, another example: Erza and Jellal. Is their relationship sane to you after all Jellal did to Erza?"

"Jellal-san was under drugs effects! He wasn't in his right mind!"

Cana sighed.

"So everyone has excuses but not you?"

Juvia looked down. She was sincere. The relationships between her friends were much better than her. Gajeel and Levy were so cute together and Lucy and Natsu were sort of mean to be. And everyone could tell that Erza and Jellal were in love with each other. But her… it was hopeless.

"Juvia is a stalker and a nuisance for Gray-sama. She had to stop."

Cana yelled in frustration.

"For fuck sake Juvia! Do you think we would all be friend with you if you were stalking and harassing one of our best friends?" She stood and placed her hands on her hips. "I'm tired of this discussion. Since my arguments seem to have no effect, why do you not ask the person concerned? Instead of assuming what these bitches told you."

Juvia thought about it. She knew that her imagination could be overflowing sometimes and Cana seemed convinced that there was no problem. Maybe if she had a clear answer from Gray, she could decide what the right thing to do was.

"Cana-san is right." She nodded. "Juvia should ask Gray-sama."

"Good to hear it." Cana smiled. "Now get dress before you freeze here."

Juvia rushed to the change rooms to dry herself and put her clothes back. When they exited the pool, they saw the rest of their friends gathering at the school gate.

"Juvia!" exclaimed Lucy and Levy clearly relieved.

"Are you okay?" Lisanna asked as soon as Juvia and Cana joined them.

Juvia nodded with a smile to reassure them all. "Juvia's fine. She was…" She trailed off, glancing at Gray but quickly looking away.

"She had silly thoughts but I cheered her up!" Cana winked and greedily took a sip of her bottle.

"Alcohol isn't allowed within the school grounds." Erza interjected but that Cana laughed and put her arm around of the Student Council President.

"Maybe you need some liquid courage if you want to confess to someone." She whispered with a glance toward Jellal who was tapping something on his phone. Erza's cheeks turned as scarlet as her hair.

"Can we go now?" Natsu whined. "I don't want to be late. The movie seems so cool!"

"Get a hold on yourself, flame breath. You sound like a child." Gray said.

"Say it again, iceprick?" Natsu growled back and that would had be another fight if Erza hadn't put a hand on their shoulder with a menacing aura.

"Ultear and Meredy are already there." Jellal said as he put his phone back into his pocket. "Meredy was worried about Juvia."

"Juvia's sorry." Juvia apologized with a low voice.

"They're all idiots." Gajeel grumbled. "They wouldn't budge if you weren't there."

"You were worried too!" Levy scolded him with a frown.

"Tssk. Whatever."

"Come on." Loke took the lead. "I hope it's still that cute girl who sells popcorn."

The others followed him, chatting and laughing as usual. Juvia watched Gray joking with Loke and Natsu and her heart gave a squeeze. She had to know. She had to ask him now.

She gathered her courage and grabbed gently his sleeve to draw Gray's attention. He turned his head toward her.

"Can Juvia talk a bit with Gray-sama?" She murmured, her heart beating fast and she felt a knock in her stomach. He looked perplexed but nodded nonetheless.

"Sure."

They slowed down to let some distance between them and the rest of the group.

"So what is it?" Gray asked nonchalantly.

Juvia played with the rim of her shirt, unsure of how to phrase it. She decided to express her greatest fear. She took a breath and let the words come.

"Do you hate Juvia?"

Gray opened wide eyes.

"Of course not! What's with that question?"

Juvia sighed in relief. At least he didn't hate her.

"Then… Is Juvia making Gray-sama uncomfortable?"

Gray rubbed his nape, hesitant with his response.

"Well… Perhaps your proclamations of love are… a bit excessive and I'm not very comfortable with it."

Juvia bit her lip, her hands clenching the fabric of her dress. She knew it.

"Juvia is sorry." She whispered. "She promises she'll stop. She won't bother you anymore."

"Woah. Stop." Gray looked baffled. "I didn't say you were a bother."

Juvia frowned.

"But… Juvia is making Gray-sama uncomfortable. Surely Gray-sama would prefer if he saw her less often."

"What? No, I… You're misunderstanding my words. Look. We're friends. You can be around me when you want unless I told you not. Just… ease a bit with the love confessions or saying things about marriage and the thirty kids."

Juvia stayed silent for a moment.

"So… Juvia isn't a bother?"

"No you're not."

"She is allowed to be near you?"

"Of course."

"She can offer you Juvi breads?"

"Yeah. They're pretty yummy actually."

"Juvia and Gray-sama are friends?"

"You really doubted it?" Gray replied arching a brow and Juvia took it as a positive answer. A slight blush rose on her cheeks as she fidgeted with her last question.

"Juvia is allowed to love you?"

"Huh… Yes." Gray mumbled while looking away, his ears turning red. "Beside no one can forbid someone to love."

Juvia smiled as a soft warmth rose in her chest. It was okay to love Gray-sama. She closed her eyes and felt the sunrays of the end of the afternoon on her face.

When she opened her eyes, Gray was watching her.

"Why are you asking this? Cana said you had silly thoughts. That was it?"

Her smile widened.

"Yes. But as always, Gray-sama took the rain away."

A deep blush colored his cheeks and he looked away, rubbing his nape in nervousness. "You're welcome."

"Hey you two!" Natsu yelled. "Hurry up! You can be all lovey dovey in the cinema."

"Shut up, ash brain!" Gray shouted back.

Juvia giggled as she joined her friends. Her doubts forgotten.

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**AN**: Ok so first, I hope some of you like this one-shot. As always, if you find mistakes, let me know so I can correct them. ;)

Now let me explain why I wrote this. I apologize in advance for the long read.

For some times now, with the news chapters of _100 years quest_, I read many comments against Juvia. The haters said harsh things, they were upset she was there with the others as she was not useful but a bother and hoping she would disappear quickly after the arc. I can understand that not everyone likes Juvia. There are also some characters I don't like so it's ok. But it's upset me nonetheless because it's not nice to read bad things about your favorite character.

To eased my mind, I searched for some fanfictions, but then I read one where Gray said to Juvia that she was obsessed with him, that she should stop stalking him because she couldn't let him alone even for one second and that there was no hope for her. So, you can guess that it frustrated me even more.

First point, because I can't understand why there is so much hate towards Juvia. It's okay if you don't like the pair Gray and Juvia and you can totally ship Gray with someone else but why do you need to be so mean toward Juvia? For example, I don't like the Nali but I don't wish bad things for Lisanna!

The recurrent argument advanced is that Juvia is a stalker and that her relation with Gray is toxic. For many reasons I don't agree with that, and there's the second point: Juvia isn't a stalker for a long time now. If she was, she wouldn't have let Gray go in the 100 years quest (and even before, she would have follow him every second during missions like against Oracion Seis, the exam on Tenroujima or during the Grand Magic Games).

But then, some people have experienced stalkers in their life (women or men) and I can understand why they don't like that aspect of Juvia. Unfortunately that trait is often used by the authors of Fairy Tail and by many fanfiction authors (including myself), most of the time as a joke when we shouldn't joke about stalking because it isn't right and can make other people very uncomfortable. I agree with that.

But again, Juvia isn't a real stalker anymore and she gives Gray his personal space and respect his feelings like in the 413 days chapter, she didn't pursue him with the scarf after he said no, and I quote her in the chapter 27 of _100 years quest_, "Juvia plans to go back soon" and "Juvia didn't mean to interfere with your quest". If she was obsessive, I don't think she would say that. (Sadly she also said she was chasing after Gray but it was the recurrent joke as she is used by the author as comic relief).

To get back to my point, she was only really stalking him in the first time after Phantom, and if Gray was uncomfortable then, I don't remember him expressing it clearly to her. To me, he seemed to consider her as a friend. If not, why did he ask for her in Tenroujima or save her multiple time or smile at her after their fight against Lyon and Cherria? And don't forget the Camarade's frank.

I can't understand why for some people Juvia is still the stalker girl and **only that**. It's like "One day stalker, always stalker." She made some errors at first but she isn't the only character! Gajeel beat Levy, Droy and Jet but people forgive him and don't question his relationship with Levy. Natsu still sneaks in Lucy's apartment even after she asked him to stop. Or Loke who still refers to Lucy as his lover or his wife. This is a just some examples. And I don't think these characters receive hate. Only Juvia. Why can she not be forgiven? Why haters can not see her improvement? Why is she only the stalker girl? She is so much more!

I'm pretty sure I'm preaching to the converted as Juvia's haters probably don't read my stories. I don't want to start a war with Juvia haters, I just needed to stand for Juvia at least once. Sorry for the long speech.


End file.
